My grandmother is someone who has been transformed by grief. As our relationship has gotten better and everything I’ve noticed that losing my dad at such a young age and not being able to deal with her grief because she had to take care of my uncles (his brothers) and then me and my cousins and just whoever else needed help has hurt her so much. I think maybe she worked so much partly because she had to in order to support us, but also because it was easier being busy and distracted than addressing her pain. She’s been carrying this around for YEARS and hasn’t ever had a moment to just fall apart and try to even begin to heal. And such a huge part of that hurt has hardened her into being one of the angriest people I know. She’s also recently started experiencing anxiety/anxiety attacks and can’t even make herself go to work because she’s so afraid to leave her house. So the one thing that she used to go to for help for so long is no longer a working option. I don’t know what to say to help. Partly because I’m still her daughter/grandchild and I don’t want to sound disrespectful. And then it’s just also so out of my depth. We experienced such different grief and circumstances for the loss of the same person. At such different time periods in society too. All I know to do is pray. And I know God hears those prayers. But I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions?
As a mother, how would you be okay for your child to speak to you about your grief?
As a daughter, how have you spoken to your mother or father about their grief?
How do you tell someone you love them and that you understand that they’re hurting and want to help. While also acknowledging the fact that their pain is further hurting themselves and others?
I would very much so appreciate any thoughts you had on this matter. I’m not perfect and don’t think I can help “fix” her by myself. But I just want to try to help in any way that I can. I’m also so worried that by me trying to help it will hurt our relationship again. So those are just some of my concerns as of right now! Thankyou to anyone who offers me their perspective!
Join our Grief and Support Group: