Sharing A Story Of My Own

Hey Guys! So first I would just like to thank all of you for coming into this group full force! I love the way everyone has just immediately started sharing stories, pictures, and supporting comments and prayers. It’s a bit nerve-racking putting your pain out there in the open for everyone else to see and feel with you. You never really know what to expect. Which is why it was SO AWESOME to see how well you all responded. So again, THANK YOU!!

Secondly I decided to go ahead and share a story of my own. I just wanted you to have a better idea of who I am and the vision I have for this group. It took me a long time growing up to be okay with sharing my grief with others. I didn’t have the memories or photos that almost everyone I knew were burdened and blessed with. I didn’t have something I loved so much it hurt to not have anymore. I learned slowly what it meant to lose someone I never knew. I grew up without my Dad. He died in a car crash before I was born. See, I never knew what it was like to grow up with a Dad. So for a long time I didn’t even know to be sad. You don’t get told the tragic story of your parent’s death until someone believes you’re old enough to understand. And so it wasn’t until I was in the middle of the rhythm of school, seeing other kids get to go to Daddy&Daughter Dances that I began to even realize what I didn’t have. So in a way, I grew into my grief. I would be completely fine for weeks or months and then suddenly get hit with another realization like knowing that I’ll never get to be given away at my wedding or have my Dad threaten a boy when he asks me on a date. And to me that seemed like something so silly to be sad about. I felt like I didn’t have the right to my grief. People grow up without parents all the time. Many of you have grown up with your parents and then lost them too soon. Many parents lose their children too soon. Or your sisters or husbands or friends. And of course it will always be too soon. In a perfect world we wouldn’t ever have to lose anyone. Thank God there’s a place we can come together again! But the knowledge that everyone else was experiencing this huge overwhelming mountain of pain, made my own feel small and unworthy in comparison. Even if I knew that wasn’t true. Even if I knew good and well that pain wasn’t something you could compare. Or even something that could realistically be put on a scale of 1-10. Or fit inside a number of stages to work through. Pain is different for everyone and that’s part of the reason so many people go through it alone. The thought that people won’t understand or care along with the way the world keeps moving on around us whether we’re ready to move with it or not pushes so many people away from the loved ones we still have in our lives. I’m not a professional therapist or an experienced support group member. But I am someone who wants to bring light to this dark area in life. I’d like to create some form of goodness out of grief. And I want God to work through every part of it. I LOVE the way you’re all so eager and genuine with what you’ve shared so far!! And I hope as this progresses that doesn’t fade away. Even more so, I hope that this really does offer relief. That the small act of coming together with people who have gone through something similar and the huge act of God hearing our prayers and helping us work through this all really brings peace into our lives and hearts.

 

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