So I am ALL for us sharing our pain because I really do believe that opening up is such a huge part of healing. However...I also believe there's a power to seeing healing come to others because in a way it proves that healing is in the works for us as well. So I just wanted to share something really amazing that I have noticed in my life recently.
As I started to realize what it felt like to grow up without my dad, I began to hold resentment towards my Grandmother. (She was my Dad's Mom and she adopted me when I was 3) At the time I didn't realize that I was angry at her because I was sad and hurting. I thought that she was to blame somehow...that in all the key events that led up to my Dad's death she was somehow the reason it happened at all. I never thought to consider her pain of losing a child, because I was so consumed by my own pain of being the child left behind. And so for years we had a pretty rough relationship..well...you could almost say we didn't really have one at all. And so without realizing it, I pushed away the only real parent I had left. Luckily I had found a church that really cared and even though it was crazy hard to do at first for multiple reasons, I began to pray to God to heal our relationship. I prayed for Him to heal our pain and bridge the gap between us. I don't know if I really believed He heard my prayers at the time but I know eventually I gave up and stopped praying. This was a few years ago now. Well I can't say exactly when it started happening but for Mother's Day we went out for lunch and we talked in ways I only dreamed about growing up. I felt that we were really genuinely connecting and she told me stories of her life that I'd never heard before and my soul cried HALLELUJAH!!! I began to see that God didn't stop answering my prayers just because I stopped praying them! I saw how hard and long He had been working in my life behind the scenes slowly bringing us to this point where now, I know she cares. And I'm no longer angry or afraid to be hurt if I open up and care back. Guys it felt so good knowing that a part of me that never felt loved was being brought back to life right in front of my eyes. And it feels so good being able to talk to her about my Dad and finally get to know Him through the eyes of the one who raised him! So here's just a praise report to let you know that God really does hear our prayers. He hears our grief, tears, doubt, anger, longing for hope and peace and answers, He hears it all. And even if we stop praying or give into that sadness, He's still holding us and molding us into a stronger people. And so I firstly just wanna say Amen. And secondly I just want to let you know that if you have a prayer that you feel has gone unanswered, don't give up yet! Share your requests in the comments below and myself and the amazing community we've built here will chime in together to pray with you. And if you have a prayer that you have seen be answered, please share that hope with the rest of us!
Thanks again for being so awesome!
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